I can’t help but feel left out. They seem happier when I’m not there. I don’t know exactly how to explain it but, they don’t seem to think about me. I think that it’s kind of my fault though. I don’t reach out as much as I should. Sometimes I hate being as quiet as I am; I don’t really know why I’m like this. When I was younger I was bold and outgoing and confident. And now I’m shy, quite, and have low self esteem. Not sure how to get that girl back. She seems kind of lost now.
If I was still the same girl I was when I was younger, I would have more friends, I would have been involved more with my school, I certainly wouldn’t be as awkward as I am now. I would have the social life I’ve always wanted. Even when people describe me it doesn’t feel like they’re describing me. It feels like another person.
Is it weird that I can’t give a good description of my personality? The only things that come to mind are shy, nice, and quite. I have found safety in my room and I rarely want to leave it. I feel like I’ve wasted away my high school years in this room doing absolutely nothing.
I don’t want to say what I’m thinking cause I will make myself feel worse than I already do.
I’m unhappy with myself right now and I can only hope that in the next few years of my life I will find myself and can be truly happy with who I am.