I can’t believe this is happening again. It’s too soon for this. First grandpa George and now grandma Nina. It seems like just yesterday we were at his funeral and now we have to worry if we have to plan another. It’s too soon. It hasn’t even been a year yet and this happens again? Why? Why my family? Why? It’s not fair. Why does life have to be this way?
My dad’s father just told us that my grandmother Nina has been diagnosed with lung cancer. Same as my mother’s father George. In a way, we all saw this coming from my grandmother, who is a smoker, but we didn’t expect it to happen so soon. Not a couple of months after my grandfather had passed away. Having to struggle that my grandfather was now gone, I would have to prepare for her passing as well. I still have hope that all will be okay in the end. Maybe she will survive cancer and continue living. Hopefully.
My family and I are on our way to my grandparents’ house to see my grandmother. She has told me that she is doing well, but I’m worried that her condition will get worse very quickly just like it did with my grandfather. I feel terrible that this is happening again. I feel terrible that my relationship with my grandmother Nina isn’t as strong as it should be. I am her only granddaughter, there is so much that I would like to experience with her. I’m only twelve and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without her.
We pull up into their driveway and get out of the car. I’m nervous to see her. I shouldn’t be but I am nervous that she isn’t doing as well as she should be. We walk up to the door and my father opens it with his key and we walk in.
“Hello we’re here,” my father announces as we walk in.
“In here,” I hear my grandfather Simon says. We make our way into the living room. My grandparents are sitting on the sofa offering us welcoming smiles. My brother and I walk over and give each of them a hug before we take off our jackets.
“How are you doing, grandma?” I ask her.
“I’m doing alright sweetie. How are you? How’s school?” she asks me. I sit down next to her.
“School’s fine.” She is in her house clothes but she has on her makeup and her hair is done. I don’t think I have ever seen her without curls in her hair. She looks paler but is still happy to see us as always. I have a feeling inside me that this image of her won’t last long.
It’s the end of March and my grandma Nina is sent to Northwestern hospital. My mother, brother and I go to see her. I’m nervous for the state that she is in. All I want for her is to get better. We get off the elevator and walk down to her room and enter. My father, grandfather, my uncle, and a few of my grandmother’s friends are in the room with her. She is lying on the bed sleeping. I say hello to everyone before I walk over to her.
“She has been sleeping all day,” my father tells me. I nod and I take her hand.
“Grandma, it’s me, Sage,” I say to her. My grandmother opens her eyes and looks at me.
“I love you,” she mumbles back to me. She closes her eyes again.
“You’re the first person to get her to open her eyes,” my uncle Brian tells me. I feel a bit of glee when he tells me this. I feel special knowing this. I move away from her side to let my brother Courtland say hello to her. I sit down in one of the chairs in the room. With her treatment, she has lost all of her hair. I know that she is upset that all of her hair is gone. She always dressed the best and made herself presentable. I can’t even imagine her reaction to it. I pray that she will get back to her regular self. That she will heal and be healthy again. I feel as though our time together has been cut short. Like I haven’t really had time to spend with her, talk to her. I hope she gets better.
It’s the beginning of April. April fourth to be exact. I’m at the hospital with my family to see my grandmother. My other grandmother Monica has come by to pray for my grandma Nina. Grandmother Monica has put her trust in faith that it will save my grandma Nina and make her better. At this point, my family and I put our trust in faith to heal her. She hasn’t been getting better. This is our last resort to save her. I still have my hope that she will get better and overcome this. My grandmother Nina is a strong woman and I know that she will make it through this.
“Do you want to spend the night at grandma Monica’s tonight?” my mother asks.
She’ll bring you back here tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” I say back as I get my jacket on. I go over to the side of my grandmother’s bed. I tell her goodbye and that I love her even though she won’t answer me back. I give her hand one last squeeze before I leave with grandma Monica.
By the time my grandma and I reach her house, it’s eight at night. We go inside and get comfortable, in bed watching TBN. My grandmother’s choice. Some preacher is preaching something to his church. I’m not really watching I’m just thinking. I’m thinking about what my life and everyone else’s life would be like without my grandmother Nina. I know that my father and my uncle will be crushed. My grandfather Simon is a sensitive man and this will make him so depressed. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose your significant other. My brother and I haven’t gotten used to our grandfather George being gone. I don’t know how we will be able to recover from this. I pray that things will get better for everyone. I struggle to stay awake so I just close my eyes.
The sun is setting and the wind is blowing gently. I am in a field facing the sun. The clouds in the sky have a pink color to them. It’s beautiful here. A little to the right of me I see my grandmother Nina standing there. Her hair is long down to the backs of her knees. She isn’t wearing any clothing. I stand there just looking at her. I look up at the sky and I see the clouds part. A giant hand comes out of the sky and slowly makes its way towards my grandmother. I watch as it wraps around her and takes her with it back towards the sky. I watch as it retreats up into the sky, the clouds close back up. She’s gone.
I am woken up by a bright light shining on the right side of my face.
“Sage, wake up,” I hear my grandmother Monica say to me. I open my eyes to her.
“I just got a call from your mother, your grandmother passed last night. We have to go meet them at the hospital, get ready.” She walks towards the bathroom. I just lie there for a moment. I remember the dream that I had. Should I tell her what I dreamt? I remember the hand that reached out of the sky and took her. I see her come out of the bathroom. I sit up on the bed.
“Grandma, last night I had a dream of grandma Nina and a hand that reached down and took her into the sky,” I say quietly and look at her. She comes back over to the bed and sits down next to me.
“I don’t think that was a dream sweetie. What you had was a vision. She is with Jesus now in heaven. He came to you last night and let you know where she is now.” She pulls me into a hug.
I saw him. Knowing that my grandmother is in a safer, beautiful place puts my worries to rest.