Genie Please

I Saw Him

Mar
04

I can’t believe this is happening again. It’s too soon for this. First grandpa George and now grandma Nina. It seems like just yesterday we were at his funeral and now we have to worry if we have to plan another. It’s too soon. It hasn’t even been a year yet and this happens again? Why? Why my family? Why? It’s not fair. Why does life have to be this way?

My dad’s father just told us that my grandmother Nina has been diagnosed with lung cancer. Same as my mother’s father George. In a way, we all saw this coming from my grandmother, who is a smoker, but we didn’t expect it to happen so soon. Not a couple of months after my grandfather had passed away. Having to struggle that my grandfather was now gone, I would have to prepare for her passing as well. I still have hope that all will be okay in the end. Maybe she will survive cancer and continue living. Hopefully.

My family and I are on our way to my grandparents’ house to see my grandmother. She has told me that she is doing well, but I’m worried that her condition will get worse very quickly just like it did with my grandfather. I feel terrible that this is happening again. I feel terrible that my relationship with my grandmother Nina isn’t as strong as it should be. I am her only granddaughter, there is so much that I would like to experience with her. I’m only twelve and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without her.

We pull up into their driveway and get out of the car. I’m nervous to see her. I shouldn’t be but I am nervous that she isn’t doing as well as she should be. We walk up to the door and my father opens it with his key and we walk in.

“Hello we’re here,” my father announces as we walk in.

“In here,” I hear my grandfather Simon says. We make our way into the living room. My grandparents are sitting on the sofa offering us welcoming smiles. My brother and I walk over and give each of them a hug before we take off our jackets.

“How are you doing, grandma?” I ask her.

“I’m doing alright sweetie. How are you? How’s school?” she asks me. I sit down next to her.

“School’s fine.” She is in her house clothes but she has on her makeup and her hair is done. I don’t think I have ever seen her without curls in her hair. She looks paler but is still happy to see us as always. I have a feeling inside me that this image of her won’t last long.

***

     It’s the end of March and my grandma Nina is sent to Northwestern hospital. My mother, brother and I go to see her. I’m nervous for the state that she is in. All I want for her is to get better. We get off the elevator and walk down to her room and enter. My father, grandfather, my uncle, and a few of my grandmother’s friends are in the room with her. She is lying on the bed sleeping. I say hello to everyone before I walk over to her.

“She has been sleeping all day,” my father tells me. I nod and I take her hand.

“Grandma, it’s me, Sage,” I say to her. My grandmother opens her eyes and looks at me.

“I love you,” she mumbles back to me. She closes her eyes again.

“You’re the first person to get her to open her eyes,” my uncle Brian tells me. I feel a bit of glee when he tells me this. I feel special knowing this. I move away from her side to let my brother Courtland say hello to her. I sit down in one of the chairs in the room. With her treatment, she has lost all of her hair. I know that she is upset that all of her hair is gone. She always dressed the best and made herself presentable. I can’t even imagine her reaction to it. I pray that she will get back to her regular self. That she will heal and be healthy again. I feel as though our time together has been cut short. Like I haven’t really had time to spend with her, talk to her. I hope she gets better.

***

     It’s the beginning of April. April fourth to be exact. I’m at the hospital with my family to see my grandmother. My other grandmother Monica has come by to pray for my grandma Nina. Grandmother Monica has put her trust in faith that it will save my grandma Nina and make her better. At this point, my family and I put our trust in faith to heal her. She hasn’t been getting better. This is our last resort to save her. I still have my hope that she will get better and overcome this. My grandmother Nina is a strong woman and I know that she will make it through this.

“Do you want to spend the night at grandma Monica’s tonight?” my mother asks.

She’ll bring you back here tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” I say back as I get my jacket on. I go over to the side of my grandmother’s bed. I tell her goodbye and that I love her even though she won’t answer me back. I give her hand one last squeeze before I leave with grandma Monica.

By the time my grandma and I reach her house, it’s eight at night. We go inside and get comfortable, in bed watching TBN. My grandmother’s choice. Some preacher is preaching something to his church. I’m not really watching I’m just thinking. I’m thinking about what my life and everyone else’s life would be like without my grandmother Nina. I know that my father and my uncle will be crushed. My grandfather Simon is a sensitive man and this will make him so depressed. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose your significant other. My brother and I haven’t gotten used to our grandfather George being gone. I don’t know how we will be able to recover from this. I pray that things will get better for everyone. I struggle to stay awake so I just close my eyes.

***

The sun is setting and the wind is blowing gently. I am in a field facing the sun. The clouds in the sky have a pink color to them. It’s beautiful here. A little to the right of me I see my grandmother Nina standing there. Her hair is long down to the backs of her knees. She isn’t wearing any clothing. I stand there just looking at her. I look up at the sky and I see the clouds part. A giant hand comes out of the sky and slowly makes its way towards my grandmother. I watch as it wraps around her and takes her with it back towards the sky. I watch as it retreats up into the sky, the clouds close back up. She’s gone.

***

     I am woken up by a bright light shining on the right side of my face.

“Sage, wake up,” I hear my grandmother Monica say to me. I open my eyes to her.

“I just got a call from your mother, your grandmother passed last night. We have to go meet them at the hospital, get ready.” She walks towards the bathroom. I just lie there for a moment. I remember the dream that I had. Should I tell her what I dreamt? I remember the hand that reached out of the sky and took her. I see her come out of the bathroom. I sit up on the bed.

“Grandma, last night I had a dream of grandma Nina and a hand that reached down and took her into the sky,” I say quietly and look at her. She comes back over to the bed and sits down next to me.

“I don’t think that was a dream sweetie. What you had was a vision. She is with Jesus now in heaven. He came to you last night and let you know where she is now.” She pulls me into a hug.

I saw him. Knowing that my grandmother is in a safer, beautiful place puts my worries to rest.

 

 

 

 

The Yellow Blanket

Feb
04

“Cashew, why won’t he call me?” I whine to my dog. My dog just looks at me with his big eyes and let out a sigh. I let one out too and turn my head to the ceiling of my living room.  I hadn’t seen Blake since our fight a week ago. I know that I owe him an apology, but he owes me one too after what he said to me. All I was trying to get him to understand is that I’ve been feeling a little neglected lately and I wanted him to make some time for me. But of course, he got upset and called me needy and clingy which made me angry and then I called him an asshole and then questioned his love for me. That made him extremely upset, and he stormed out of my apartment, and I haven’t seen him since.

“I mean I know I owe him an apology, but he owes me one too. Like how hard is it to just pick up the phone and call or better yet just walk down the hall and knock on the door.” Cashew lets out another sigh and gets up from the couch and walks into my bedroom. Great, even my dog is tired of me now. I sit up and reach to grab the remote control off my coffee table. Maybe a little television will calm my nerves. I turn to the animal planet because this is the only channel that won’t relate to my situation.

As the show “River Monsters” goes on, I start to get a little chilly, and I grab a blanket to the right of me. It’s Blake’s blanket. It’s a beautiful canary yellow throw. I drape the blanket around me and pull it tight. He left this over my house when we had a movie night together. That was our first date. I was so nervous that night I couldn’t get comfortable on my couch. I kept repositioning myself due to my nerves and Blake took notice of it because the next thing I knew he was pulling me into his arms and he wrapped us up in this yellow blanket. I finally stayed still once I was in his arms.

I bring the blanket up to my nose, and I take in the smell of it. Ugh, it even smells like him. I pull the blanket over my head and put my face in my hands. What have I done? If this goes on any longer who knows when things will get resolved. I’m such a terrible girlfriend he probably doesn’t want to be with me anymore. Tears start to well up in my eyes the more I think about our fight. I shouldn’t have questioned his love for me. I shouldn’t have called him an asshole for not spending more time with me. The way his face went from angry to hurt I knew I had crossed the line with him. I feel terrible knowing that I hurt him that way. I’ve probably ruined our relationship entirely. I don’t know what he expects me to think when I only see him two days a week. I mean some days we wouldn’t talk at all. I wouldn’t hear from him for days, and I just wanted to spend time with him. I don’t know what changed. We went from talking every day to only talking once maybe twice a week. I know he’s a busy person with his job but can’t he at least make some time for me? I just don’t want to lose him. He makes me happy. He is the only thing in my life that I honestly do love and care about. He’s always there for me and is my shoulder to cry on, and I’m crying now and I don’t have my shoulder. I need my shoulder.

I pull my face out of the blanket, in tears. I get up with the blanket still wrapped around me and I run to my front door to leave and go apologize to Blake. I run to the end of the hall to his door and knock on it louder than I mean and wait for an answer. God, I hope he’s there. Please be in there. He has to be in there its Sunday night. I’m about to knock again when the door swings open. Blake looks at me with a blank expression. He’s about to say something, but I cut him off.

“I know you probably hate me for what I said to you last week and I am so sorry for what I said to you. I shouldn’t have questioned your love for me, and I shouldn’t have called you any of those names and I’m so sorry, Blake,” I cry out to him. I see his expression change and he pulls me in his chest as I cry my eyes out in front of him.

“Claire, calm down, I know you didn’t mean what you said and I was just about to come over and see you so we could talk about what happened.”

“Really?” I muffle into his chest.

“Yes, now can you please relax and stop crying?”

“But you hate me.”

“Oh, Claire, don’t be ridiculous I could never hate you. I love you so much.” He pulled back a little so he could see my face. He wiped some of my tears away and held my face in his hands.

“I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too. So much.” He leaned down to kiss my forehead and whispers “I’m sorry,” to me.

“Now why don’t we go inside and talk this out ok?” I nodded, and he leads me into his apartment. I feel so relieved that I finally got my shoulder back.

Torpedo Boat

Jan
04

“Alvin be careful with your new boat!” Casey yelled as Alvin ran towards the back door.

“I will! Bye, mom!” He yelled back as he made his exit out the door. Alvin was so excited to play with his new toy boat that he got for his birthday; he couldn’t wait to play with it in the water and to make sure it worked well. With a little bounce in his step and listing to his mother, he held his torpedo boat firmly to his so that he wouldn’t drop his boat on the way to the park.

Once he got to the park, he walked passed the jungle gym and went straight towards the pond. As he got closer he saw a group of other boys crowed around the pond talking. Once he got close enough to hear what they were talking about he stopped in his tracks.

“Woah that’s a really cool boat!” One boy said.

“Does it work well? I bet you could race it!” another said.

“Yeah, it works well! Mines is super-fast!” The boy with the boat exclaimed.

Alvin was a bit disappointed because he thought his red and white striped boat was one of a kind. But nowhere stands another little boy the same age as him with the same boat but in blue. Alvin didn’t move from his position thinking that he should just turn around and go back home. But before he could decide on what to do, one of the boys noticed him and his boat.

“Hey, he has a boat Just like yours!” the boy exclaimed pointing at Alvin. All the attention was on Alvin now. The boy with the boat looked at him with a pleased expression on his face. He was happy because he now had someone he could race with. Alvin, on the other hand, was frozen in his place now with all their attention on him. He didn’t know whether to respond or just to run away. The boy with the blue boat walked towards him and asked, “Do you wanna race?” Alvin looked at the boy and then towards the group of boys. If he said no they would tease him. If he said yes and lost the race they would still tease him. And then there was that small chance that he could win. Alvin swallowed and nodded yes to the boy with the with the blue boat. The little boy smiled with excitement and pulled Alvin over to the edge of the pond and put his boat in the water and held it there waiting for Alvin to do the same. Alvin got down to where the boy was and did the same thing he did. Before they started, one of the other boys said something that made Alvin want to leave the park right away.

“Loser has to give his boat to the winner!” He shouted. Alvin looked to his left where his opponent was. He was smiling evilly at Alvin and then looked at Alvin’s boat. This made Alvin upset. If he lost his boat his mother would be angry with him.

“Ready, Set, Go!” one of the boys yelled and Alvin turned him on as the boy said go. As both boats were off they all followed them along the side of the pond. Alvin felt a little relieved that his boat was ahead of the blue boat. His body filled with glee as his boat reached the end of the pond first. Alvin jumped with happiness and went to grab his boat out of the water as the other boys cheered for him.

In the mist of their cheering, the little boy held out his blue boat to Alvin.

“Here take it you won.” He said disappointedly.

“No, keep it I already have one,” Alvin said and started to walk away from the group with a smile on his face.

Yarrow

Dec
12

Yarrow

This sweet plant makes me smile

Yarrow

My favorite flower comes in all sorts of colors

Yarrow

Yellow, Pink, White, Red

Yarrow

It heals your wounds that have been cut open

Yarrow

It even cures you within

Yarrow

This unique flower, a rare flower

Yarrow

Makes me smile

Exciting News

Dec
10

This news has been long over due but I would like to share that my poem ‘Feels’ is going to be published in one of my schools magazines!! I’m so excited and thrilled that this is happening to me. It’s like a dream come true for me and soon I will submit one of my stories to the magazine and hopefully get one of them published. I just thought I would share this since it means so much to me.

Next Steps

Aug
27

This post isn’t one of my stories so sorry to disappoint but, I just wanted to post something since it’s been a while.

I’m about to go off to college in about two weeks and a half. I have been waiting for this day to finally come. The day that I’m going to be on my own and to get a taste of what adult life is like. Today I just finished my college shopping, and in the middle of lunch with my parents, I started to picture what my move-in day would be like.  I pictured me and my parents crying and hugging and how hard it will be to say good bye. My parents have been so supportive of me in everything that I do and are always there for me even when we don’t see eye to eye. I know that they will always be there for me no matter what.

I guess this post is to say that I will miss my home and my family even though I’m only going to be three hours away. It is also to say that I’m excited to see what will become in the next steps of my life.

6-3-15

Jun
09


Dear diary,

I can’t help but feel left out. They seem happier when I’m not there. I don’t know exactly how to explain it but, they don’t seem to think about me. I think that it’s kind of my fault though. I don’t reach out as much as I should. Sometimes I hate being as quiet as I am; I don’t really know why I’m like this. When I was younger I was bold and outgoing and confident. And now I’m shy, quite, and have low self esteem. Not sure how to get that girl back. She seems kind of lost now. 

If I was still the same girl I was when I was younger, I would have more friends, I would have been involved more with my school, I certainly wouldn’t be as awkward as I am now. I would have the social life I’ve always wanted. Even when people describe me it doesn’t feel like they’re describing me. It feels like another person. 

Is it weird that I can’t give a good description of my personality? The only things that come to mind are shy, nice, and quite. I have found safety in my room and I rarely want to leave it. I feel like I’ve wasted away my high school years in this room doing absolutely nothing. 

I don’t want to say what I’m thinking cause I will make myself feel worse than I already do.

I’m unhappy with myself right now and I can only hope that in the next few years of my life I will find myself and can be truly happy with who I am. 

– Nora 

I Need Answers 

May
23

That night changed my life for ever. Why does all the bad thing have to happen to me? First my parents, then my brother, and now this. I can’t take anymore pain, anymore heartbreak. All I want is answers, is that too much to ask. The guys that are taking care of me, ever since my brother died, are somewhat responsible for his death. After Alex told me the truth about what my brother was doing I couldn’t believe it. My own brother joined a gang and was killed because of just being part of it. I lived with Alex and his brothers for about two months now and have grown attached to each of them. Even after all I have been through they decided now, after we were almost killed, to tell me the truth. It hurt and they lost my trust. Now at two in the morning at the park in Seoul, Korea I’m alone sitting on one of the benches waiting for Alex, Taeil, and Jimin to come back from the convenient store with food and water. Apparently, after we got shot at in, our own home, the people who shot at us are still trying to kill us. So now we have to leave town. I see Alex come out of the convenient store and jogged over to me with bags in his hands. I look away from him as he gets closer to me.

“Taeil and Jimin will be out soon.” He says as he pulls out a water bottle and handing it to me. I don’t take which makes him sigh and he sits down next to me. 

“Look I’m sorry okay, about lying to you. Your brother didn’t tell you to keep you safe.”

“I get that. But why did he have to get into this mess. He was all I had left and then I find him dead on my door step. Do you know what kind of shit I’ve been through since I moved here? I can’t go through my father leaving, my mothers death, and my brothers death and still be okay! I’m breaking Alex and it hurst so much!” At this point I was standing in front of him with tears streaming down my face. Taeil and Jimin were now approaching us. “I want answers now. Why did you bring my brother into your mess? Why are there people trying to kill us?” I asked him trying to clam down. He couldn’t look at me. 

“I think we should get going now, before they find us.” Taeil said.

“I’m not going anywhere until someone answers my questions.” I said looking at Alex. 

“Listen I will explain everything when we get to where we are going I promise.” Alex said.

“I don’t trust you.” I said bluntly and started walking in the directions of the car. 

Feels

May
18

It feels… It feels… It feels…

It feels tired.

It feels uncertainty.

It feels obscure.

It feels… It feels… It feels…

It feels drained. 

It just wants to rest for a while. 

It feels…

The Night Shift

May
18

I can’t believe that I got stuck working the night shift. I don’t even see a point in staying open all night long it’s not like anyone is going to come in here at two in the morning. I usually leave work at 7:30 since I am still in school, but since my co-worker called in sick I got stuck working the night shift. 
With absolutely nothing to do I find interest in the magazines on the counter until the door opens to the convenience store. In walks a guy who is in all black clothing. He’s tall with hair that is clearly dyed. His skin is pale and his eyes are cold. As handsome as he is, I can’t help but feel uneasy with his presence. As he walks towards the drink aisle, I keep my eyes on him just observing him. There’s something about him that seems very dangerous. When he finally makes his decision on what drink he want he makes his way to me. He puts the can of beer on the counter and I ring it up. 
“$2.50.” I said. He hands me five dollars and I give him his change. “Have a nice night.” I say trying to be polite. He give me a nod and walks towards the door. As he’s about to open the door he turns to me. 
“Is Louis here?” He asks.
“No he’s out sick.” He nods and walks back towards my counter.
“What’s your name love?” 
“Sable.” I said. He smirks at me. 
“A pretty name for a pretty girl.” He says and I scoff at his comment. 
“Is there anything else you need?” I say in a irritated tone. 
“No. Look sweetheart, when you see Louis give him this for me.” He says handing me an envelope. I take the envelope from him. “I’ll make sure he gets it. Are you a friend of his?”
“Something like that.” 
“Well if that’s all you need have a nice night.” I said trying to get this guy out of the store. “Aren’t you going to ask for my name love?” I shake my head no. “Oh come on love, don’t be so rude.” I start to be come irritated very quickly with his presence. 
“Don’t call me love now can you please leave.” I said. 
“Sorry love but I’m waiting on some friends just thought I’d start a conversation with you I didn’t mean any harm.” He says. I don’t say anything back. Who ever he’s waiting for needs to come quick so he can leave. He turns around finally giving up on conversing with me and what I notice scares the hell out of me. Sticking out the back of his pants is the handle to a gun. Who the hell is this guy? Whoever he is I want him gone. Just then another guy walks in. He is as equally as handsome as the other one, but my uneasiness keeps growing. “Jin.” The other guy said. So that’s the blonde’s name. I watch as they both greet each other. Jin points out that Louis in here and his friend turns around to look at me. He walks slowly towards me and gives me a small smile. He seems more welcoming than his friend. 
“Hello my name is James and I need your help with something.” 
“What is it?”
“Your friend Louis has something that he promised he’d give me tonight and he said that it’s in the manager’s office. Do you think you can go in there and get it for me?” He asks sincerely.
“I’m not sure what your looking for and I don’t have the key to the manager’s office.” I said hoping that he would believe me. James lowers his head and lets out a sigh.
“That’s not good….”
“Sable.”
“Sable. I was really hoping that you would help me. Now I know there is a key to that office underneath the counter can you get the key and open the door for me?” 
“No. Whatever is going on between you and Louis is none of my business. You’ll just have to come back tomorrow night when he’s here.” I said stepping away from the counter just a little bit. I don’t know who these guys are and but I know that I don’t want to be involved with them. 
“I can’t wait until tomorrow night. Now get the key to the office now or your not going to like what happens next.” He said is voice now chilling. He moves his jacket back a little bit to show me his gun sticking out of his pants. I make my way underneath the counter and get the spare key. I start walking towards the office with him close behind me. We get to the door and I hesitate to open it at first. Once the door is open James pushes past me and into the office. I watch him dig around in my boss’s desk for something. He pulls out a big envelope and makes his way out of the office. I follow him back into the front of the store where Jin is waiting for him. 
“I got it. Sable love tell James thank you and don’t forget to give him the envelope.” Jin said to me. I watch as he makes his way out of the store. 
“I appreciate your help and here.”
He hands me a piece of paper. 
“I have a feeling like I’ll be seeing more of you from now on.” He says and smirks at me. I watch as he leaves the store more confused and scared than I was before. Whoever these guys were I hoped that I would never see them again.